


The Infamous Chip and PIN Machine (a.k.a How John Got his Revenge)

by artemis1186



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Don't bother denying it, Gen, Revenge, The chip and PIN has it out for John, True Friendship, slightly crack-y
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-04
Updated: 2013-09-04
Packaged: 2017-12-25 14:09:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/954022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artemis1186/pseuds/artemis1186
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John has another row with the local chip and PIN machine. Sherlock helps him get his revenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Infamous Chip and PIN Machine (a.k.a How John Got his Revenge)

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this came from but I make no apologies. I hope you all enjoy!

John had only been gone twenty minutes when Sherlock heard his footsteps heavy on the stairs. A second later the door burst open.

“Get your own bloody milk!” Sherlock watched as John moved through to the kitchen and started angrily making tea. It would have been humorous except Sherlock could see the tension in his shoulders and the heaving of his chest. Something had truly gotten under the Doctor’s skin and Sherlock wanted to know what it was.

Sherlock stood and hovered at the edge of the sitting room. “Did something happen?” John turned to glare at him a moment before turning his back so that he could grab some cups.

“That bloody machine hates me.” Sherlock had to pause to remember what John was referring to but when he finally did he couldn’t help but grin.

“Had another row did you?”

“Yes and it’s not funny. This is serious Sherlock. We need to get paid. You need to pay me.” John angrily pushed the microscope on the table aside and picked up the scalpels and jar of frog eyes to place over by the stove. Sherlock stayed silent and John snapped. “I mean it Sherlock, we can’t keep going on like this.” John set the cup that he had grabbed on the table more forcefully than he intended and the handle broke off in his hand.

Before he could start swearing Sherlock brushed past him to grab another cup out of the cupboard over the sink. “You’re right John. But in the meantime would you like my help?”

John shoved him hard into the stove. “I wouldn’t need your help if you’d just take more cases!”

Sherlock recovered and straightened his shirt. “I meant, do you want my help with the chip and PIN.” John stared at him for a minute before he shook his head in disbelief. Then he looked at his wallet sitting on the table. His shoulders locked and he met Sherlock’s eyes again.

“Yes.” Sherlock nodded and went to grab his coat. John grabbed his wallet and followed.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

By the time they made it back to the shop it was nearly closing time. Sherlock scanned the aisles quickly and headed toward the canned section. John quirked an eyebrow at him but didn’t question it.

Sherlock looked over a can of carrots before he palmed it and headed off towards the crisp packets. John hurried after him but he got stopped by one of the employees as Sherlock rounded the corner aisle. “Are you about done sir? Can I help you find anything?”

“No. I’m fine, ta. We’ll be done in a second.” The girl gave him the side-eye for a second before she narrowed her gaze.

“Do I know you?” John coughed awkwardly.

“I may have been in here earlier.” The girl looked at him closer and her mouth fell open in a perfect “O.”

“You’re the chip and PIN guy aren’t you?” Her face softened a little bit like she felt sorry for him. John blushed deeply.

“Yeah. Anyways like I said we’ll be done in a minute.” The girl nodded and headed back towards the freezer section. John brushed his hand over his face to try and erase his shame before he went in search of Sherlock.

He ended up finding him up front by the magazines. “Alright John, which one is it?” John turned to the left and raised his hand. When he pointed his finger you could almost feel the ire pour out of him.

“That’s it. That’s the one.” They both moved toward it in unison. John was glaring at it openly while Sherlock simply looked calculating.

When they finally reached it John turned to Sherlock. “So what’s your plan because personally I think we should just pull it off and toss it through the window.”

“If you can’t pay for milk what makes you think that you can afford to pay for a window.” Sherlock raised an eyebrow at him and John scowled before he stuffed his hands in his pockets like an errant child.

“Fine. But whatever you’re doing hurry it up.” Sherlock nodded and set the can of carrots and the pack of crisps on the belt. He rang both of them through and then turned around to lean  over the counter.

“Excuse me. Do you think you could help us for a moment?” The clerk in the next checkout over blinked at him for a moment before she set down her copy of “Empire” and walked over.

“What’s the problem?”

“Well, I think your machine is broken. My friend came in earlier and it declined his card and now I’ve just rung a few things through and it says I owe £47.50.” The clerk leaned over and searched the machine. It was currently reading cavier and smoked salmon. She eyed the crisp packet and can of carrots dutifully before she straightened up again.

“Oh. I’m sorry sir. It must be malfunctioning. If you want I can ring you out on my register.”

“Actually I think I’ll wait on these. John?” John startled slightly as Sherlock settled his gaze on him.

“Yeah?”

“I just remembered that we need milk.” Sherlock smirked at him and John resisted giving him a two-finger salute.

“Sure. Why don’t I just go and get that.”

John made his way back toward the refrigerated section. He passed the girl from earlier and smiled meekly at her.

“Forget something?”

“Yeah.” John started back toward the front. “Oh, it turns out your chip and PIN was broken.”

The girl’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Really? Well it looks like your row earlier was warranted then huh?” She smiled at him cheekily and he couldn’t help but smile back.

“Yeah, have a good night.” He waved briefly before heading back to Sherlock.

“Took you long enough.” Sherlock was over at the other register when he finally emerged up front. He started over with the milk but paused on his way to admire the **OUT OF ORDER** sign that was now hanging lopsidedly from the machine.

He set the milk on the belt and Sherlock pulled out his card. In a matter of moments they were done and headed out the door. The bell rung cheerily behind them.

“So, do you feel better now?” Sherlock looked at him under the streetlight and John put his hands in his jacket pocket as he turned back towards the shop. He could just make out the clerks finishing up their closing duties but beyond them John thought he could just see the light shining off the machine. He turned back toward Sherlock and grinned.

“Oh yes, much better.” Sherlock grinned back at him and turned his collar up. John snorted as they started off back toward the flat. “So how did you do it anyways?”

“It was simple. I cut the labels off from the cavier and salmon and glued them on the carrots and crisps.” John stopped in the middle of the walk and stared at him.

“How…”

Sherlock whipped out the scalpel that John had moved earlier and twirled it. Then, from his other pocket, he removed the superglue that they usually kept above the sink. “Like I said, simple. It won’t hold up for long of course. Once they replace the can and crisps they’ll be sure to feel the tag but it did the job.” Sherlock glanced at John as he pocketed the scalpel and glue. “You probably won’t be allowed back again.”

John stared at him for a moment longer before he suddenly burst into laughter. He laughed so hard that he had to grab his sides. Sherlock looked surprised before he started laughing as well. It was a full five minutes before they pulled themselves together enough to start walking again.

“That is brilliant. You’re brilliant.” Sherlock shrugged and held open the door to 221B. John went through and waited for Sherlock at the foot of the stairs. “I’m glad that we had this moment. Now maybe you can be really brilliant and start taking cases where we actually get paid.” Sherlock bumped his shoulder on the way up the stairs. When he finally reached the top he turned to grin down at John.

“I’m just glad we finally have milk.” John finally got his chance to flip him that two-fingered salute as they both settled into the flat for the night.


End file.
